Posts tagged Saga

Question : I plan on writing a fantasy saga. What do you think?
This is the first couple of pages to my work, please read it and let me know what you think!! I haven’t edited or proof read yet.

Fluid in motion the quill moved across the rough paper, soaking in with the knowledge of plants and remedies that would help for a number of the most common illnesses found throughout the Kingsland. Balion carefully put the quill back in its holder, stretched his arms above his head, and looked critically on the work he had produced.
Well, it wasn’t the best he could do, the tails on the “Y” were still what his grandfather would call hooks. And he would have liked to embroider the edges. But all in all it was sufficient for what was needed.
Balion pushed up from the chair and moved to the cabinet, where he removed four small paper weights that would hold the paper open while it dried.
Warm streaks of resplendent light filtered through the single window of the back room, colours dancing a myriad of shades as individual ink pots reflected the rays repeatedly off their glass cased bottles, giving the room a more vibrant and airy atmosphere than actually warranted.
Balion was careful when placing the weights, the last thing he wanted was to obscure the still wet ink, it had taken a good four days work copying from the old book his grandfather kept, one of many that were precisely ordered in alphabetical sequence in the small room used as a library.
While Balion used the task of copying the old remedies more to pass the days than for any actual practise at his scribe skills, he found it gave him a quite sense of accomplishment and pride. It was good to know his time would be valued and helpful to others.
After making sure there were no creases, misspelled words, or smudges that would impede the readers who sought to gain the knowledge painstakingly copied over the previous days, Balion was satisfied everything was in order.
As he moved out the small back room and made his way to the kitchen in the comfortable sized cottage, sounds of animals and birds were clearly audible.
The house seemed oddly quite and empty with Julian gone. It was like a critical component was missing, a team of horses without their driver. While Balion was well able to cope, he found himself counting down the days to his granddads return.
When he reached the kitchen he took the ladle from the side, Balion glanced down at the bubbling stew and inhaled deeply. The aromas of spices and stock assaulted his senses, it was a welcome difference after the biting scent of ink, which was almost corrosive in its efforts to distract and annoy.
A quick taste brought the familiar flavours, added with a nice chunk of venison from which Balion had tracked and hunted the previous day. It seemed all his efforts at hunting the beast were, after all, going to be worth while.
Once he was satisfied the stew was finally finished, Balion retrieved the book his granddad had told him to study while he was away. Sitting at the table, book in one hand and spoon in the other, a glass of blueberry aligned next to his food, and the evening sun cascading through the glass window, it seemed a perfectly relaxing day.
Like a rabbit in the woods, Balion lifted his head. There was a noise, only just detectable, one that more likely than not would have gone unnoticed by anyone not so used to the quite sounds of the life surrounding him.
It was unmistakably the sound of feet treading the loose gravel outside the cottage. Balion put his things on the table and pushed up, he was curious as to who it could be. He couldn’t remember the last time someone had made the out-of-the-way journey to his and his grandfathers home. Being rather deep into the woods, the people of the village usually just waited until either he or Julian went into town to speak with them. It was usually his grandfather they wanted to see, who knew a many facts about things both mundane and magical. The amount of sometimes random facts the old man could effortlessly pull from the air was astonishing.
Through the window Balion caught a glimpse of wavy blonde hair, it was now clear to him who it was, he couldn’t help the smile that crept over his face.
Balion pulled open the door before the outstretched hand could make contact, the person on the other side of the door looked a little surprised at this, but Balion wasn’t sure. It seemed the other had more focus on getting his breath, as he stood with both hands on his knees and took deep breaths.
“Michal, do you know what the time is? What you doing out here at this time, and why you so out of breath, you haven’t been up to trouble again have you?”
Michal, the village rouge, entrepreneur, and all round mischievous trouble maker, looked up with a forced grin.
“I didn’t cause the trouble, I swear!”
Balion shook his head in mock disapproval.
“Well, you better come in, I suppose you have a good reason for making the journey so close to nightfall?”
Michal nodded he did as he gratefully collapsed int
pride lift chairs

Best answer:

Answer by Doctor Who
Good so far. I might revise the structure of some of the sentences and maybe a few of the words. I really can’t comment on the story itself because, obviously, I don’t have enough information. If you want better reviews from community that is really into writing you should check out fictionpress.com. Good job so far though, keep it up!