Posts tagged Live

Question : Ready to battle anorexia for good and live a better life…?
Ever since I first came across this site and wrote about my struggles, each post I have written since has been full of fear and sadness. Even though I gained much or most of the weight that I lost last year, I did not recover in the slightest sense. My thoughts, worries, daily routines, and compulsion to exercise have shown that clearly. After an immense breakdown a few weeks ago, for the first time in my life, I realized that I do need professional help. I realized that life can be better than what I have made it into and how I have always lived it and thought it to be. Furthermore, it is up to me to make it better and to take the steps in a healthier direction towards a brighter and happier future.

I was able to meet with a therapist at an eating disorder center last week who performed an evaluation on me and gave me recommendations. She has been trying to find a therapist and nutritionist in my area, but there are none around that specialize in anorexia. She mentioned the idea of going to an eating disorder clinic as an outpatient, so we have been looking into that. The other day, I spoke to the doctor of one in Cambridge, MA on the phone. I explained everything, and she really wants to see me and help me. While I am very scared to go, I know it is the right thing to do and must be done. I keep second guessing myself because my weight isn’t as low as it used to be, so I know there are other girls who are probably worse off than I am and deserve the help more. I am 20, 5’4″, and about 100 pounds. To me, that doesn’t seem low compared to where I was at a while ago, but the doctor told me that it is very low, and I am right on the border of needing impatient care, but she has to meet with me first to determine what level I need.

I am really nervous about talking to my parents about all of this. They have not supported me throughout any of this because they don’t even know what I have been struggling with. They were in denial and still are. They don’t understand anorexia at all and only know it as the way the Hollywood media portrays it. When I had told my mom about my low weight a while ago, she just yelled at me and told me that I should be ashamed of myself. She only makes me feel even worse than I did to begin with when I go to her with these issues, so I don’t even know where to begin with this. How do I tell them what I have, what I have been going through, and that I want to go to this facility for treatment?

My final dilemma will probably make some of you upset, and I really hope it doesn’t. I am not trying to. I promise, but I need to get this out. For the past few months, I have become more and more entrenched in my exercising. After injuring my ankle at the beginning of August from obsessive running, I have taken to going to the gym 6, sometimes 7, days a week to use the elliptical. I spend a minimum of 60 minutes on it, do the bike for 5-10, and do Pilates and Yoga at home daily. I had an MRI last week and found out about the results yesterday. I have posterior tibial tendonitis. I am supposed to get a walking boot and refrain from all exercise for at least the next 5 weeks until my follow-up appointment. I didn’t go get the boot yesterday, and I still went to the gym today. I felt so guilty going, as I should, but I just can’t not go because I feel worried about what will happen if I don’t exercise, which I know is a huge problem. I eat 1,800 calories a day, and I have been maintining my weight on that amount with all of my exercise, so if I were to stop, wouldn’t I start gaining? I want to stop exercising starting now, but my appointment at the ED center isn’t until next Friday, so I am worried that if I stop before then that I will gain weight before going and then they won’t think I need help or something? So my question is that if I were to stop exercising now until next Friday, will I gain a lot of weight, or any at all? Should I eat less than 1,800? I know I shouldn’t be so worried with this, but I am, and I don’t know how to get over these thoughts, but I know with treatment, they will help this issue, as well.

Thank you so much for reading all of this. Please take care.=)
anorexia treatment facilities

Best answer:

Answer by Taija_in_wonderland
Hi :]

I have an eating disorder too (bulimia…so yeah its different but i get what your going through)
However, im not a low weight, im right on average (oh how it annoys me)

ANYWAY,
I am also in treatment, and I’m sorry that your mom is freaking out at you, but honestly, im super jealous, because my mom totally ignores my ED and wont even drive me to treatment… :[

to answer your question
NO you will not gain weight if you stop excersising for a week.
No you should not eat less than 1,800….try to at LEAST get 1,500 if you can.

Also, they wont stop treating you if you are a normal weight.
did you know that some people with anorexia are overweight? Your weight has nothing to do with having an eating disorder, and i read a statistic somewhere that said 80% of people with eating disorders are normal weight, 10% are overweight and 10% are underweight. (this is just anorexia and bullimia i think, obviously compulsive overeaters are different)

anyway, DONT WORRY
you may gain maybe and ounce or two…accept that it is fine if you do.

wanna email me?
steal_my_sunshine7@live.com