Question : Should I try to talk to my daughter’s father?
Ed initiated a physical (and I thought emotional as well) relationship with me. When I told I was pregnant his reaction was “I don’t want kids” and “I thought you were on the pill”. I asked Ed to take some time to think about whether he wanted to be involved & call me when he decided. I also, because he was being so rude to me, told Ed that I believed his treatment of me was ignoble. I had a very difficult & expensive pregnancy, but was able to have a healthy girl who is now 6 months old. I work & am able to support my daughter & 19 year old son (who is in college), but just barely. In other words- I don’t have enough money to hire a lawyer if Ed decides to be a jerk. I have not spoken to Ed since I told him I was pregnant. I feel very fortunate to have my daughter, but worry about her not having a father in her life. Should I call Ed to give him another chance? If he does not want to be involved should I contact his family and give them the option of being involved with her?
I’ve known “Ed” for 6 years. He lives a 4.5 hours from me. I’m 41, he’s 46. Birth control was never mentioned by either of us. We were only together once and it was my first and only physical relationship since my previous relationship 6 months prior. In that relationship my partner and I unsuccessfully tried to have a baby for 4 years (I had worked closely with my gynecologist and even taken clomid in the effort to conceive)- I believed myself physically unable to get pregnant.
I later mailed Ed a family medical history questionnaire. I never got it back, but I got a typewritten note that said “adopted male” and had about 6 conditions listed on it, in a typewritten envelope with no return address. I am not positive it is from Ed because my previous partner actually was adopted and we had registered on several websites in the effort to find his birth parents, giving my name and PO box as a contact. Also, I have seen pictures of Ed’s sister and she looks just like him. It was extremely rare for siblings to be adopted out in pairs in the late 50’s –early 60’s.
To choice_4_men:

I looked at your profile and the websites you have listed. That logic is ***SO*** flawed!!! A man does have a choice if he does not want children- he can choose not to sleep with a woman. He can choose to ask about birth control. He can use a condom. He can get a vasectomy. If he doesn’t do any of these things (and Ed did not) then he is irresponsible.

By the way- I did take responsibility for my actions. I am raising my daughter.
ed treatment options

Best answer:

Answer by Ruben A
Yeah, totally call him again and talk to him. Give him a chance to involve himself. Also, you should get his family involved if they want to. At least let them know, man. They MIGHT want to help. =)