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I feel like giving up because no one seems to like me, despite my improved confidence?
Question : I feel like giving up because no one seems to like me, despite my improved confidence?
I’ve been in therapy for an eating disorder for several years and am doing well in my recovery. My self-esteem has improved a lot and my behaviors are almost obliterated. I’m currently still in therapy as well as group therapy.
I’m a student at a large university and I don’t really have any friends anymore. My freshman year I had trouble making friends but still managed to do so and had lots of friends up until now. My friends don’t call me and don’t return my calls/texts to them. And new people I meet don’t seem to like me, even though I’m super friendly and try to make people laugh all the time. Even the people in my therapy group seem to like all the other group members except me! I don’t understand what the problem is and always end up feeling like something is wrong with me, and feel very depressed as a result.
I feel like all of these years trying to learn to be 100% myself and love myself just as I am is backfiring – because no one else seems to want me around. It makes me feel like giving up on therapy and recovery and just close up and remain depressed, you know? What could the problem be, and what should I do?
Thanks in advance for your help.
group therapy for eating disorders
Best answer:
Answer by G G
talk to people. tell them what you want to do and ask if they want to so that stuff with you, like dance or study. why dont they like you? ask them. ASK them why they dont liek you ! ! ! keep trying u have to talk to more than 100 people a week to try to find friends. good friends arnt always easy depening on your intrests. dont give up, its your life, u can get what u want, its worth it, the challenge of makeing friends is 1/2 the fun ! people will be mean sometimes, but dont let it make you sad, thats just normal, its there mistake when there mean, and just move on to someone whos gona be nice.
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#2 written by Beetle Bailey 1 year ago
People say “It’s a small world”. But the truth is that it’s really a very big world. For every ten people that seem to not like you, there are twenty people in this gigantic world that are just waiting to meet you. Don’t give up on yourself, or people because those around you don’t seem to get you. It’s not YOU, it’s them. You might need a change of scenary. Get around more. Meet new people. You will find that there are more people out in the world that will view you as a wonderful person. There are a lot of good; loving, decent people in the world. You just have to get around to meeting them. They are of all different races and cultures. But most importantly, accept yourself and the things that you cannot change. Love and respect yourself. The right support circle will naturally be drawn to you. You are important!
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#3 written by Cris S 1 year ago
How do you know these people don’t like you? Because they do not behave in a way that is acceptable to you? If you have interacted in a way that is acceptable to you, then you are absolutely right-on! Could be they are jealous of your seeming self acceptance. May want to stop focusing on what other people think and start focusing on anything but that!! Sounds as though you are doing all the right things in seeking support….good job!! But I have to wonder why you aren’t bringing this up in your support groups, thereby reaping full benefit of the support that you have sought!! I believe that we attract certain souls into our lives. And that each of the difficult people that cross our paths temper us and only make us stronger. I would suggest stop evaluating and also bringing this up in your group. It is only within your power to change only what you can, and other people isn’t one of those. Good luck…….
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#4 written by lauren r 1 year ago
Be yourself– naturally who you are and others will be automatically drawn to you. Don’t try so hard or worry. I know because I’ve struggled with eating disorders and your constantly occupied with what others think of you. Dont worry about bullshit strangers or fake-ass friends, you’ll only have a few true friends in this life anyways. You sound like you have low self-esteem- maybe work on that because your a good person worthy of good friends.
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#5 written by Stephanie T 1 year ago
I think you may be trying too hard and putting too much into what others think. You may want to pay attention more to your spiritual walk as well. These feelings of inadequacy are strongholds in ur mind for spiritual attacks that can lead to you falling back into the imprisonment of eating disorders. Whenever you feel like giving up, that’s when you fight back harder to win. Take care
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#6 written by Chris B 1 year ago
I kind of feel I’m in a similar (although admittedly less extreme) place right now. Just as I started to learn how to be myself more, it seemed like less people wanted to be my friend. I can’t tell you how to get things back on track because Im not sure how much control we actually have over that kind of thing. Pateince may be the only cure, but things can turn around pretty quickly. I would recommend though that you try and become more positive by getting out there and doing more things, thus meeting more people. (Yes Man – by Danny Wallace, is a book Id like to suggest at this point too.) To get other people to like you, you have to like yourself, and liking and being yourself are too different things. When you accept yourself for who you are, you will like yourself, meaning you will gain confidence, meaning hopefully, friends will come. I hope this helps.
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#7 written by Jolene J 1 year ago
First off, let me commend you on choosing therapy. Putting yourself out of harm’s way is a big step in learning to love yourself, etc. I know what it’s like to feel lonely, and to wonder “why me?” when no one seems to pay attention or care. But you need to know that you are here for a purpose, and you affect each person you come in contact with whether they openly show it or not. I urge you to not be concerned with trying hard to make friends; this is all happening for a reason that is far more important than any of us may ever know. Friends will come in time, but until you really love yourself, that’s where your focus needs to be.
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You are trying to hard and your friends are seeing this as a sign of weakness it boils down to animal instinct just like in a wolf pack the leader is not the nicest one it’s the one that earned the most respect from the others. Same with the most popular girl she is just nice enough to be liked and she does nothing for nobody but everyone else does stuff for her. The worst thing you could do is try to please everyone all the time. They won’t respect you they will see that they can use you and therefore you will never be seen as the equal but rather the mascot. Be your own person with your own goals and opinions and interest. Limit the contact/text you have with your friends and they will appreciate it more when you do get in contact. I don’t intend to be mean with you but see it as human nature and it will start to make sense to you. Think of it as a nagging little brother that always wants to be with you. Do you want to be with him, or do you want to be with the cool older brother that hangs around with you some of the time. Anyways good luck and I hope this will help you to see it from a different perspective.