health information
Help with friend’s daughter moving in with me!?
Question : Help with friend’s daughter moving in with me!?
My friend’s 17 year old daughter is coming to live with me for a little while. My friend and her daughter are not really getting along right now, and her daughter gets along with me very well (I’m like her ‘aunt’). My friend is having a hard time taking care of her and asked me to take her for a little while to help her out. Her daughter has an eating disorder and right now she is sick and at home with an NG feeding tube. She also has depression, borderline personality disorder, PTSD, anxiety, and has a problem with cutting. She has spent long weekends at my house before, and I’ve had to deal with the break downs, the cutting, the refusing to eat, ect before, but never for weeks at a time. I’m meeting with her treatment team on Monday (before she comes) and off course she will continue going to her normal doctors and therapy appointment. I’m working on making a list of questions to ask her treatment team before I meet with them on Monday. I was wondering if anyone could make any suggestions on what to ask (I don’t want to forget anything!). And if anyone could make any suggestions on what to do with her during the day… I don’t want to make the sitation worse (she is homeschooled if that helps anyone understand the situation anymore). I know she can have limited activity because of her current health status, but does anyone have any good ideas on what to do during the day? Especially during her tube feed (my friend has told me she gets very anxious at those times of the day).
She has been in the hospital and residential programs countless times before, but nothing has helped much and her inssurance company won’t pay for any more treatment. She is closely watched by her outpatient team and they so far have not felt like it was needed to put her on a medical floor because she is being fed through a NG tube which is keeping her fairly stable.
residential eating disorder programs
Best answer:
Answer by Lila
It sounds as if she is not up to any physical activity like going for walks. Maybe you could play cards or other games with her. You are a special person for taking her into your home and taking care of her. I would imagine that her mother truly needs a break. And you turned out to be the Angel.
Oh, my God is this poor little girl ever sick!
If she can’t run away, can we assume that she is in a wheelchair with limited mobility due to her eating disorder?
What you describe is a minor child with a very serious health condition that requires 24/7 nursing care. So, this is what I would ask you:
1) If she pulls the NG tube out and refuses to take nourishment, what will you do?
2) If she cuts herself and needs immediate medical care, how will you be able to get it for her without a signed medical consent from her parent?
3) Is your house sharp-proofed or will she find something to cut with?
4) She is not “fairly stable” with an acute psychiatric history and a feeding tube in. In most states, her family would have the benefit of a visiting nurse during the day and night to take care of her.
5) Who will be taking care of her while you sleep?
6) How will you get her to her normal therapy and doctor’s appointments?
7) What if she runs away?
9) What is her medication regiment?
10) What is her homeschooling schedule or has she graduated at 17?
11) Will she turn 18 while in your custody and no longer be a minor and no longer the responsibility of her parent?
I think you are a good person with a good heart but there is more to the story of this girl and her serious problems than you or I can know.
I wish you and her all the best.