suffered from anxiety and depression for over 30 years. It got worse during high school, and even worse before, as if trying on purpose, my life as miserable as possible to make. This is my story of great emotional pain, long years of isolation, misery and despair, and as I gradually I found the way out of this dark tunnel of despair and in the light of wisdom, joy and relief.

With all the problems you usually older, will know the symptoms of panic disorder and not at first what they were devastated my days at school and ruined my concentration with school work. I would come home exhausted, frustrated and not concentrate on anything, including homework. I had a very limited social life and no girlfriend. I suffered from what seemed an eternity of social anxiety, loneliness, severe acne, mysterious weight loss and debilitating depression. I had an extreme dislike for most types of team sports and had a lot of trouble trying to fit in anywhere. From elementary to high school, I suffered a lot of turbidity and others rejected a lot and “unrequited love” by the members of the opposite sex attracted, I felt, what continues to be a vicious circle of social anxiety, resentment of the other popular and successful, and My overwhelming feeling of rejection, isolation and alienation.

The pain continues at the university (where I studied nutrition, psychology, astronomy, and especially the art) and many years in my work. I could not find work, which were simple and without stress, such as gardening, painting and artisan type projects. I finally got a job, take care of an office building with a garden and fountains, a lot of maintenance and care required. I still work there today.

Over the years 70, 80 and 90, I tried in vain to find the cause of my suffering because of religions, doctors, psychiatrists have, etc. very disappointed by it “all in your head of his” diagnosis! It seems much worse than any “anxiety neurosis” or the later diagnosis of anxiety disorder, “I could not believe it. I thought I had with heart disease, kidney failure, cancer, strokes, tumors, diabetes, lead poisoning, mercury, DDT, or any combination of the above! You name it, it felt like I! But still and yet all my tests showed nothing really important or essential, no toxins, no poison, nothing that makes sense and useful.

I advice, Christian religions, Christian and religious science have tried to eastern, meditation, yoga and positive thinking for many years, but still have my problems worse. I began to get increasingly feel like a madman and a good candidate for the insanity that more and more of my family and friends gave me “out everything in your head” the Insult to Injury “treatment.” Almost all my friends who not know or sympathy for my chronic problems, so they left me alone. I spent most isolated and very alone. Being with people scares me, so I had often in an isolated area, room or run quiet place where no people were around. I could not fill in forms or my name on my check or credit card receipt in the public, as to shake me. Some of my signature looked very strange completed form and all illegible. I went through hell just trying a simple application to fill.

talks would end abruptly, because I follow what to say next and had lost recall effort, which the other person says. I stop mid-sentence because I could not finish it, the Disabled incredible, others panic attack and feel like an idiot. This mental block is almost always the case with the worst possible moment and critical when a very serious problem, while explaining to a confrontation disaster or speaking to a group of people, this leads to to speak of a very serious fear of the public and the socialization of all kinds Anyway, when I need it most, but I had less

I also had many physical symptoms that drove me crazy. My heart skipping and / or speed and stay up all night (especially if in all types of drugs) are held, makes me think that I had a heart attack. There I often have terrible nightmares, waking in a cold sweat and confusion. I would not be able to sleep again, and five clock startled in the morning. Then I had all day to sleep offset insomnia at night and deal with the devastating stress, dizziness and depression. I also felt a great sense of worthlessness, fatigue and exhaustion made me mad every time if I had to do, collect something. Spending, and I could get ahead never financially, no matter how I sleep the urge all the time, fought especially after eating. Very misunderstood, I was lazy, other than very often under the influence (although I’ve never taken anything), and a hard worker so poor “dead wood” that I was incapable my needs. Imagine what happens when growing up and trying my own place in the world!

to find after a couple of massive anxiety attacks in 1982, I was avoided almost all the agoraphobic. To panic terrible, I always had to stay in my area or within the city limits. This problem is a disaster for the dating was , and so had to stay alone. As I grew, I became more and more angry and cynical about life. I was always so frustrated that I’m losing too often my temper and break things. I have a hundred different ways to to end my life, I was so desperate to stop the emotional pain, but he had to try too afraid something. My life was like a concentration camp house or hell on earth. My weight loss by trying to avoid foods that I “allergic” Even myself look like a concentration camp victims. Nothing that I eat on the weight anyway, just go back and thereby a serious gas, bloating and diarrhea. Nothing has gone well in my life, not even my digestion !!!

in my situation to try something else forced, I saw these things as food, herbs and alternative medicine. I tried to experiment with the system for many years but with limited success, sometimes even seems to turn, how to do drugs. However, the results were convincing right me, then determine look into the subject of nutrition therapy and whether there was such a thing. In the late 80s, I finally developed a plan, “Atkins” type rich in fruit juice raw / cooked green vegetables and whole proteins such as fish, chicken, offal and many herbal supplements and vitamins. This new system actually seemed to my depression and could fear hold a series of (short term) control, when I continued through the years 90 to “tinker” around my diet, because I have to be something I was aware food even more people and contributed food that can not identify. It was more the idea that we might have emotional problems, just a power fantasy hope! It was real deal! This little encouragement pushed me at a pinch even more, a lot of fanaticism and zeal.

When the time passed, the food was I am on the case more and more vegetarian, with improved further, but there is still much room for further improvements. I began to drink loads of water between meals instead of snacking, which has improved as a result even more encouraging. I realized snacking is in itself a cause of many food hypersensitivity, dental problems, and bad reactions, mental, emotional and physical, that would not otherwise happen if all foods were eaten in a day together in a healthy meal grouped with the rest of the day in the detoxification of Drinking water is consumed.

In 1994 I wrote a book about yoga lifestyle and all that is said to lead to happiness, enlightenment and wholeness. Of course I was very obsessed with my health and what I ate, and how I ate spend many, many years to come. I would often all day in libraries behind books, etc. (and later the Internet) are more intense research in nutrition and neurochemistry. People I avoided because food is all that I talked and found it very difficult away from the object. Attentive and limited scientific Eating out has been my savior and the only hope for a life without fear and paralyzing depression

Russell Symonds (Shaktivirya) devoted his life to finding the fullness of life and the “totality” His lifestyle website is the science of wholeness is a spiritual center and information on nutrition and research dedicated to help you, your keys to wholeness (eternal joy, love, happiness, rejuvenation, and much, much more). There is no great thing of beauty, value and joy that the whole

The rest of his original article and his book free online, Science of Wholeness I & It can be found here: http://www. wholejoy.com / abundance / news.html

Christian treatment of eating disorders