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My wife has an eating disorder. Help?
Question : My wife has an eating disorder. Help?
She currently is in an inpatient program down in arizona. She’ll be there for 90 days. What can I do here at home to help her? It’s driving me nuts that I can’t help her. I want to be down there with her and help her. I am thankful that she is getting professional help. But I know it is very hard for her to be where she is at now.
eating disorder arizona
Best answer:
Answer by Anthony F
Just pray that it will work. Good luck.
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#2 written by Andy 1 year ago
Keeping things low stress when she’s back home can help prevent a relapse. Also there are medications that can help people maintain a healthy weight. However these are not substitutes for eating but will help prevent complications should she relapse slightly. Notice how I say slightly. They won’t help should she fall too far, but this all will be mentioned to you by a doctor of expertise. What’s best is to keep things as stress-free as possible and help her to feel that she is in control, because it’s believed not eating is their way of control over something. Also during and after these 90 days try to seek therapy for yourself so you can learn new ways of coping. CBT (cognative behavior therapy) can be invaluble.
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#3 written by claire g 1 year ago
She is lucky to have such a thoughtful husband.
I know its hard for you right now. As her husband, you want to make her feel better, and thats great, but you need to accept that she is in the only place that can make her better.
When she gets home, its important that you dont make her feel like you are ‘spying’ on her, and looking at what she is/isnt eating.
I would make sure that you have lots of healthy food in the fridge/cupboards, and dont buy any junk food. When you go to visit her (if you are allowed to) then tell her what is happening in the outside world, she will probably be going nuts in there.
The most important thing you can do, is support her, love her, and (without saying this to her) make her feel like even if she cant get better ths time round, that you love her, and always will support her.
well done for being there for her, i wish you both the best of luck. -
#4 written by hugsandhissyfits 1 year ago
MY sister has had bullemia and anorexia for years.Normally they tend to go hand in hand.
Shes been in treatment center after treament center..was in the south florida when daryl strawberry was there with her.
But honestly….its something that has happen to her previosuly (i know growing up my mom expected perfection from her she was in tennis and literally three of her roomies from university of miami of ohio have died from this .)its very serious and causes tons of other problems do not focus on food but make healthy things for her to eat.Give her love support kindness and no matter how frustrated you get because im sure she will try to do same things once she gets out it sickness.Make sure you send her letters or books to read while shes there ..there are certain things you cannot send!!but i always sent stamps stationary and pictures.
That lets her know you love her and think of her daily and want her home!!!good luck!!its hard on family as well as her. -
#6 written by kurina k 1 year ago
Well she might have problems eating curtian foods. When she comes home have the kitchen filled with healthy foods that she won’t regret eating. In the fridge make sure theres a lot of fruits, veggies, seafoods, organic foods. On the shelves put packaged foods with a health check symbol. Get rid of foods that you think she wouldn’t eat AT ALL! save the goodies for yourself ina seperate drawer/cabinet.
Maybe even save up money to buy her exercising equipment.
The most beautiful gift would be though to give her a beautiful necklace or ring when she gets home. Tell her you think shes so beautiful.. hold her and cuddle! Best gift afterwards would be passionate lovemaking..
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#7 written by clever girl 1 year ago
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First, good for you for releasing her and supporting her in this recovery endeavor. I’m sure you have felt quite helpless and felt trapped, like your hands are tied.
Here are some things you can do to support her while she is IP:
1. Send her notes or cards telling her how proud of her you are. Call when you can. If it’s allowed and feasible for you, maybe make a quick visit and take part in her activities while she is IP…meeting w/ a dietician, occupational tharapy, etc. Begin to understand healthy eating, but don’t push anything on her. Send her care packages(which will all have to be checked by the hospital staff and she may not get to use some of the objects until later in her recovery) with sudoku puzzles, colored pencils, a cd of songs you both enjoy, a Christmas stocking, a book on how to crochet, or an uplifting autobiography. Send her pictures or important momentos from when you were dating, from you wedding day, etc. Just let her know how much you love her and are proud of her. Encourage her and let her know that you believe that she can do this.
2. Gather notes of encouragement from people that love her and that she trusts and compile them in a book. This will be good while she is IP, but also when she comes home and the rubber meets the road. She can look over this book for years to come and remember that her life is valuable, it’s worth fighting for, she is loved and falling back into ed patterns isn’t worth it.
3. Encourage her to STAY! She will want to leave. You will miss her. But stay positive and be firm that this is what is best for her.
4. Ask her questions about her daily life, her roommates, her doctors, her eating disorder, how she feels. And then just listen to her. Ask her how you can help while she is IP.
5. Learn all that you can about eating disorders. You won’t understand them fully, but the fact that you tried to understand some speaks volumes.
6. Seek professional help for yourself as you have been through a lot with this.
Some things for when she comes home…..(this is the hardest part):
1. Inform people that will be around her how to respond to her. This was the biggest thing for me. People make comments like, “you look so healthy now” or “finally got some meat on your bones” or “I’m so glad you don’t look like death anymore”. While those are well-intentioned, all an eating disordered mind hears with any of those statements is, “you look fat”. If my husband gathered our immediate family and close friends and explained this to them, that would be one of the biggest gifts I could receive. If you tell the dearest people in her life to treat her like a normal human being, not to push food on her, not to make comments about her weight/appearance that would be awesome! They can talk to her about treatment, don’t act like it didn’t happen(because that is frustrating too) but treat her like the beautiful person she is. Tell them to encourage her, let her know how proud of her they are. While she can’t live on the praises of people, these things are helpful.
2. Get her a special gift when she comes home. A “promise” or “recovery” gift. Something like a pet or a special piece of jewelry. Something that every time she sees it, it will be a reminder of her recovery and her desire to continue to recover. I’ve always wanted a tattoo, so my husband has said that once I’m in recovery for 2 years, I can get a tattoo to signify my struggles and victory.
3. Make sure she has a GOOD support team around her–family, friends, doctors, etc.
4. Have “safe” clothes ready for her. She will have probably gained some weight and feel incredibly self-conscious. Have sweatshirts, sweaters, sweatpants ready for her. After I have gained weight anything that feels a little big on me makes my weight gain not seem so drastic.
5. Continue to listen to her. Ask her how you can help her. Eat healthy with her. Continue to love and encourage her.
Well, I hope this helps some. Some of these things may or may not be relevant to your situation, but do what works for you. Put thought into special projects, gifts, etc. You are a good man. You really care about your wife and your concern and love for her is evident. While you can’t cure her and bring her to recovery, I can see that you are the type of guy who will hold her hand and support her as she herself walks down the road to recovery!
You are both in my prayers! Good luck!