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My boyfriends friend may have an eating disorder? Help… (Go down to the starred question?)?
Question : My boyfriends friend may have an eating disorder? Help… (Go down to the starred question?)?
First of all, I just left Sheppard Pratt (CED center for eating disorders) a few months ago and am still in recovery mode. BUT I really think my boyfriend’s friend may have an eating disorder… The problem is… if I had to define my boyfriend and his friends, it would be “scene/emo” (I hate labeling though) they’re just really reserved people, except my boyfriend (with me).
But then I think to myself, “Hey, you don’t even know this kid, why are you assuming things?”
But I do know what my gut is telling me… =/ Very very skinny kid. Not “naturally” skinny as much as he is I mean. And he rarely eats lunch and usually stays out of the cafeteria. My boyfriend said that he rarely eats when they hang out too… and I know he feels uncomfortable when people at my table are talking about weight or something.
*****Just, how can I talk to him (In a non accusing way??) and let him know that I know what its like and I am here if he ever wants to talk…?***** or just get some peace of mind that he really is okay..
BTW, I barely know him… only b/c of my boyfriend.
eating disorder recovery center
Best answer:
Answer by Alexander Santiago
I would avoid saying it directly to him.
You being a stranger talking about it would not help nor would he likely want to talk to you.
The best thing to do is let his loved ones(if he has any/if not his friends) know and convince them to take him to a place to get the help he needs.
I think you should just talk to him more. Not just go up to him and bring up the whole eating disorder thing, just talk to him. Start conversations and be friendly with him. Become his friend, or at the very least, acquaintences. This will give you time to get to know him more so you can see how he is and how he acts. You say that you’re recovering, so it’s pretty normal for you to worry about if other people might have an eating disorder or are developing one. I’ve had an eating disorder for 3 years now, and anytime someone I care about changes their eating habits, I get really paranoid. And that’s just happened to me recently. I’m not recovering yet, but my boyfriend started eating less and I got incredibly worried, telling him about my concerns and how I don’t want him to end up like me, and he just kept reassuring me that he was fine. Also, since you have/had an eating disorder, I’m sure you’ll be able to pick up on secretive habits. Those of us with eating disorders know the rituals and habits of eating disorders, and we know the signs pretty well. So I think to relax your mind a little, just try getting to know him more. You might find that he doesn’t really display eating disorder behavior well. But then again, you can’t ALWAYS tell, since many people get very good at hiding it.
If you’re too shy to talk to him on your own, talk to him with your boyfriend around. You could ask your boyfriend what his friends likes and dislikes and things like that are, so that you’ll know what to talk about. Music is a good subject to talk about, especially considering their “labels”. I always go for music when I can’t think of anything to talk about, haha. So anyway, good luck on this situation, and good luck on your recovery!