If You Knew Me, Would You Think I’m Weird?

First of all, I’m allergic to gluten, dairy, and chocolate, too, so I know what a huge PAIN that is… hang in there!

If you think being weird means there’s something wrong with you, then no, you’re not weird. If the people who said that to you meant it that way, don’t be upset – the fact is, you’re in school, and kids are well, not adults, so they don’t take responsibility for the way they act, or make much of an effort to be mature.

They might think that you’re not enough like them, or enough like the rest of the scared-to-be-different student body, so they call you weird. To them, just because you don’t wear exactly what they do and think everything they think, then CLEARLY you’re like the boy-who-lives-in-the-bubble level of weird. They’re exaggerating your ‘weirdness’ in their minds because they aren’t secure themselves. If they label you as weird first, then you can’t think they are. Brilliant logic.

And another fun thing about school is that kids are experimenting with having power. Since they have always been told what to do by their parents, they aren’t used to their words and actions being meaningful or having effects. So they might be asserting their opinion because it shows how cool they are to have an opinion and to get you to listen to it.

What they call weird, adults would probably appreciate. I like meeting people who are not like everyone else – they can really be a breath of fresh air. Obviously someone could go too far with this (if someone acts like a jerk, they shouldn’t be proud to keep “acting like themselves”) – so just keep in mind to be a good and conscientious person, and don’t try too hard to be different, just be yourself. If they don’t appreciate that yet, well, some day they will, and in the meantime, find friends who do.

A lot of the things about yourself that you seem to categorize as weaknesses are things that, if you keep at them, you will learn master eventually. So just keep trying to do them right and eventually you will get there. This includes not caring what other people think (this comes with having confidence in yourself, which also comes with experience/age). But remember, you can “fake it til you make it,” meaning, you can pretend to have confidence even when you don’t feel it, and after awhile you will find that you have it without having to pretend anymore.

When you say that you can’t hide your emotions, what you mean is that you can’t EASILY hide your emotions. Unfortunately, this is something that you’ll need to master. Imagine being at a funeral and not being able to stop yourself from laughing at something funny you though of – incredibly inappropriate and hurtful, even though you didn’t mean it. It will cost you friends, jobs, and relationships if you can’t keep your composure. It is hard, but it gets easier every time you try.

In high school, I was also bad about spacing out and accidentally staring at people – people actually said I had a “staring problem.” But I worked on it, and now if I catch myself with my eyes in someone’s direction, I make eye contact and politely smile (then avoid any more unintentional staring).

And if you aren’t happy with your voice, you can work on it. You probably can’t change your pitch much, but you can change your word choices, your pace, your annunciation, etc. Find an example of who you’d like to sound like, maybe a celebrity, and practice emulating them. For instance, maybe you like the way that Kate Beckinsale talks – calm, intelligent, confident but sweet. Immerse yourself in her speaking – watch her movies and mimick the way she says her lines. My point is, there’s good news: anything about yourself that you aren’t completely happy with, you can improve – just take the time, make the effort, and get creative. Do not become obsessed with your faults, but do always try to be the person you want to be.

Try not to worry so much, and maybe consider joining in a team sport. Nothing builds confidence and character like looking like a fool and generally failing a great percentage of the time and being forced to keep at it anyway. If I could change anything about my high school experience, it would have been to take up track or soccer. It would have saved me SOOOO much misery to have been forced to handle those things in high school. Just my 2 cents.

I think you sound like a very interesting person, who just has a couple of kinks that they haven’t yet worked out, but they will. No big deal.